Practice of God's Presence: 2nd letter prt 1
Second Letter: Not finding my manner of life described in books, although I have no problem with that, yet, for reassurance, I would appreciate your thoughts about it.
In conversation some days ago, a devout person told me the spiritual life was a life of grace, which begins with servile fear, is increased by hope of eternal life, and is completed by pure love; that each of these states had its different phases, by which one arrives, at last, at that blessed consummation.
I have not followed these methods at all. On the contrary, I instinctively felt they would discourage me. Instead, at my entrance into religious life, I took a resolution to give myself up to God as the best satisfaction I could make for my sins and, for the love of Him, to renounce all besides.
For the first years, I commonly employed myself during the time set apart for devotion with thoughts of death, judgment, hell, heaven, and my sins. I continued, for some years, applying my mind carefully the rest of the day, and even in the midst of my work, to the presence of God, whom I considered always as with me, often as in my heart.
At length I began to do the same thing during my set time of prayer, which gave me joy and consolation. This practice produced in me so high an esteem for God that faith alone was enough to assure me.
Such was my beginning. Yet I must tell you that, for the first ten years, I suffered a great deal. During this time I fell often and rose again presently. It seemed to me that all creatures, reason, and God, Himself, were against me and faith alone for me.
The apprehension that I was not devoted to God as I wished to be, my past sins always on my mind, and the great unmerited favors which God did for me, were the source of my sufferings and feelings of unworthiness. I was sometimes troubled with thoughts that to believe I had received such favors was an effect of my imagination, which pretended to be so soon where others arrived with great difficulty. At other times I believed it was all a willful delusion and that there was no hope for me.
Finally, I considered the prospect of spending the rest of my days in these troubles. I discovered this did not diminish the trust I had in God. In fact, it only served to increase my faith. It then seemed that, all at once, I found myself changed. My soul, which, until that time was in trouble, felt a profound inward peace, as if she was in her center and place of rest.
Ever since that time I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility, and with love. I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I can, He will do with me what He pleases.
As for what passes in me at present, I cannot express it. I have no pain or difficulty about my state because I have no will but that of God. I endeavor to accomplish His will in all things. I am so resigned that I would not take up a straw from the ground against His order or from any motive but that of pure love for Him.
Questions:
What does Bro Lawrence seek reassurance on?
In what ways might the methods described on Par 2 discourage a person?
What was Bro Lawrence's alternative? How did he accomplish it?
In what ways did he suffer for the 1st 10 years? What might that have looked or felt like?
He writes that he considered what it would be like to live always with the troubles he experienced. What did he conclude? What happened to him as a result of his conclusions? What can we take away from his experience and apply to our own ives?
Do you want to arrive at the place with God that Bro Lawrence arrived at? How might you do it?
In conversation some days ago, a devout person told me the spiritual life was a life of grace, which begins with servile fear, is increased by hope of eternal life, and is completed by pure love; that each of these states had its different phases, by which one arrives, at last, at that blessed consummation.
I have not followed these methods at all. On the contrary, I instinctively felt they would discourage me. Instead, at my entrance into religious life, I took a resolution to give myself up to God as the best satisfaction I could make for my sins and, for the love of Him, to renounce all besides.
For the first years, I commonly employed myself during the time set apart for devotion with thoughts of death, judgment, hell, heaven, and my sins. I continued, for some years, applying my mind carefully the rest of the day, and even in the midst of my work, to the presence of God, whom I considered always as with me, often as in my heart.
At length I began to do the same thing during my set time of prayer, which gave me joy and consolation. This practice produced in me so high an esteem for God that faith alone was enough to assure me.
Such was my beginning. Yet I must tell you that, for the first ten years, I suffered a great deal. During this time I fell often and rose again presently. It seemed to me that all creatures, reason, and God, Himself, were against me and faith alone for me.
The apprehension that I was not devoted to God as I wished to be, my past sins always on my mind, and the great unmerited favors which God did for me, were the source of my sufferings and feelings of unworthiness. I was sometimes troubled with thoughts that to believe I had received such favors was an effect of my imagination, which pretended to be so soon where others arrived with great difficulty. At other times I believed it was all a willful delusion and that there was no hope for me.
Finally, I considered the prospect of spending the rest of my days in these troubles. I discovered this did not diminish the trust I had in God. In fact, it only served to increase my faith. It then seemed that, all at once, I found myself changed. My soul, which, until that time was in trouble, felt a profound inward peace, as if she was in her center and place of rest.
Ever since that time I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility, and with love. I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I can, He will do with me what He pleases.
As for what passes in me at present, I cannot express it. I have no pain or difficulty about my state because I have no will but that of God. I endeavor to accomplish His will in all things. I am so resigned that I would not take up a straw from the ground against His order or from any motive but that of pure love for Him.
Questions:
What does Bro Lawrence seek reassurance on?
In what ways might the methods described on Par 2 discourage a person?
What was Bro Lawrence's alternative? How did he accomplish it?
In what ways did he suffer for the 1st 10 years? What might that have looked or felt like?
He writes that he considered what it would be like to live always with the troubles he experienced. What did he conclude? What happened to him as a result of his conclusions? What can we take away from his experience and apply to our own ives?
Do you want to arrive at the place with God that Bro Lawrence arrived at? How might you do it?
posted by Gloriamarie Amalfitano @ 7:31 AM
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