knitternun

Friday, March 16, 2007

What has brought you joy recently

As I was working this morning on the Practice of the Presence of God and on the daily meditation, I realized i was as happy as i have ever been at the happiest moments of my life and that for quite some time now, when i work on these 2 offerings, I have felt a sweet, sweet joy.

Originally both of them were started on behalf of my parish. Our curate has set us up with an on line discussion forum at pro boards. The idea was that since people don;t have time to come to church for classes in Christian formation, that we would post stuff of a formative nature on the forum and people could turn to it as it suited their schedules. My contributions have been the daily meditation (started that in Advent), the Lenten study of the Practice of the Presence of God, some book lists (of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!) and a few other things. And since i was spending so much time putting it all together every day, I thought I'd also share the stuff with my christian email lists.

As it happens, I have no idea who reads them or what. I can tell from the pro-boards that no one is looking at the daily meditation but some are looking at the Practice of the God's Presence.

I confess, the lack of response has been an issue, sometimes a sore point for me. Sniff sniff, feeling sorry for myself here am I doing this great work and no one notices boo hoo weep moan. Something motivated me to keep on going and keep on doing it. Stubbornness, perhaps? I'd like to claim obedience to the promptings of the Holy Spirit but I suspect is more likely.

This morning though, I realized, that at some point, without noticing it, I no longer care if the daily meditation gets read or if people post responses to the questions that come to me in reading the Practice of God's Presence. The work itself is its own reward. I look forward to it every morning. I enjoy it. I sit here at my computer and talk to God. The daily meditation and the Practice are cast out into the world every morning and i have no idea what happens to it after that. and I no longer care. The preparation and the casting out bring me joy every day.

What brings you joy?

1 Comments:

  • At 7:32 AM, Blogger Hedwyg said…

    How wonderful! I'm glad you found joy! I often have to step back from ministries where I feel unthanked and unloved, and remember that it's not about ME. Yeah, right, like ANYTHING isn't about me! :-)

    I'm guilty of not responding, but that's because I take your posts away to digest, and they work on me in the background, where I don't always see what's going on. But I do appreciate them!

     

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