Unforeseen Danger

Recently mom called me up on a Tuesday and ordered me to watch Oprah. Not being a fan of talk TV I said "what ever for?" She told me there would be a segment about a Properly Fitting Bra. Since mine tend to be holsters rather than foundation garments, I watched. I was also stunned to see so many women walking around on nationwide (and for all I know international wide) TV in underwear. Including Oprah herself.

Since the woman doing all the talking was from Nordstrom's and seemed to know what she was talking about, I called them. And discovered that they were having a special bra fitting day with videos and product demonstrations and did I want to make an appoint for a fitting. I did and I even turned up.

An hour and a half later after being attending to by an international committee of 3 women, I found myself wearing a bra that for the first time in my life, touched my sternum. More importantly, the most immediate result of the proper sequestering of these body bits, I felt an enormous relief of stress in my whole back and my shoulders were not as round as they have been. Extraordinary.

However, there was an Unforeseen Danger to wearing a bra that actually lifts and separates and touches one's breast bone. And that is found in making the Sign of the Cross. To my horror I discovered that at the "and the Son" bit my fingers, accustomed to encountering an improperly fitting bra that did not touch my breast bone, cupped my right breast instead of touching my heart. So there am I, groping myself in church.

Ladies, be warned. Men who are intimately associated with women who wear bras, tell them this tale. Tell everyone you know of the Unforeseen Dangers which accompany a Properly Fitted Bra.

Oh, the humanity.