An early meditation on chastity

I wote this in February sometime. Not all of this is my original thoughts... some of it came from a book I was reading and I am ashamed to say that I didn't note the reference infor.

Chastity is not only about sex. Sure one aspect of chastity
is faithfulness to one's status. What's chaste behavior for a married
couple is not the same as chaste behavior for me as a single woman.
There is more to chastity than being faithful to one's partner or
abstaining from sex outside of a committed relationship.

I have been chaste in this manner for almost 30 years now. Over those
years I have come to understand that the primary relationship of love
in my life is with the Lord and not with a man. I am frequently
reminded of something Evelyn Underhill wrote about the vertical and
horizontal directions of love. She said that if a person truly loves
God, than that love which God and the person shared must be so great
as to overflow the containment of human skin and come out the very
pores to all of humanity and show itself in very specific acts of
love. I am paraphrasing badly. But this is a theme in any number of
her retreat addresses. So it seems to me that chastity includes loving
service to my fellow human beings.

Of course, this service can take a number of forms: intercessory or
contemplative prayer as well as getting out there among the senior
citizens as does Sr. Molly. In this service, one's attention is
redirected from self to God and other people where we can often find
the face of God.

Love is, of course, a verb and I believe it is a deliberate act of our
mind and will, of good will toward others and I don't think until I
grasped this that I ever really loved anyone because to some degree my
love for them was predicated by what they could do for me. A very
self-centered way of loving and chastity teaches me that love is
other-centred.

Love looks like generosity. And not just generosity of money, but of
the giving of ourselves, from our hearts. Giving someone our full
attention to their issues, needs, desires, hopes, gifts. Love is
inclusive, giving freely to others on basis of need, without
judgement.

Love looks like gratitude. In loving, we also, I think, have to learn
how to receive the love of others graciously, without embarrassment,
discomfort, false modesty or false humility because loving means
always receiving. A loving person, it seems to me, is one who is not
so presumptuous as to think one could do without the love of others.
We need i think to be attentive to even the smallest expressions of
concern from another. Love gives and received freely, without
expectation or demand. Love shows appreciation.

Love looks like friendliness. I believe this means giving the benefit
of the doubt in favor of goodness, rather than suspiciously assuming
hidden agendas. Maybe that's naive of me, but I believe love inspires
others to do the same.