THE LOVE THAT KEEPS US SANE: LIVING THE LITTLE WAY OF ST. THERESE OF LISIEUX by Mark Foley, OCD, a sort of a book review
Having read the Little Flower's rather flowery diary, I surprised myself by snatching this book off the bookshelf at Pauline Books and Media on Balboa. Gotta admit, I have a vested interest in sanity and will accept any help i can find. In his little book ( eighty two pages!!) Brother Foley has convinced me I need to re-read the Little Flower and look beyond the surface of the language of her times. Therese of Lisieux lived in the later nineteenth century in France. As a teenager she entered the Order of Carmel where she wrote many poems and her diary. She died a young woman of tuberculous and was canonized within the lifetime of her siblings and fellow Sisters.
What is the love that keeps us sane? God's love, of course, and ours for God and together we develop a relationship to nurture that love and to allow it to grow. Therese's perspective was to see all things in the light of eternity which allowed her to be deeply involved in life without becoming absorbed by it. Foley identifies four main ways Therese experienced God's love and shared it with others: secrets; "veil of ordinariness"; silence and loving freely with no strings attached.
About secrets: When we expose an intimate part of ourselves a quality of self-preservation is lost. We can never look upon that part of ourselves in the same way again because our view will have been inevitably altered by the opinions and judgements of others. Certain secrets are inseparable from our deepest identity and from our relationship with God. These secrets keep us connected to the eternal, preventing us from becoming dissipated in the world. We cannot be sane without being connected to our deepest self and to God. when we share our inner life indiscriminately, we lose it. Some memories are meant to function as solitary haunts into which we can retreat and find refuge from the world.
"Veil of ordinariness": Therese did not want to draw attention to herself. She wanted to be thought ordinary, average, commonplace, even as a mediocre nun. She considered that true sanctity, true holiness are expressed in authenticity and in a love of simplicity. By authenticity she mean a congruency between her inner and her outward selves, walking her talk, in other words. For her, the opposite of simplicity was not complexity, but duplicity. There are hidden snares of pride within our spirituality. The greatest danger us wanting to be known as holy and pride feeds on our fear of what others think of us. The hidden life counteracts a need for recognition and protection. At the same time, though, this might make a person more vulnerable to the misunderstandings of others. Therese paid this price as her Sisters did indeed think her a very mediocre nun.
About silence: There is a moment between thought and speech, however fleeting a moment it may be. In that moment the Holy Spirit acts, offering us the strength of restraint so that the hateful words remain unspoken and instead the life-giving sounds of kindness, forgiveness and encouragement can be heard. Therese teaches us two ways to now when to speak and how to bear the consequences: by choosing our battles wisely and by learning to mind our own business. when we chose our battles, we must also choose the humility to cede our rights, to defend ourselves. Therese realized that should she choose to justify herself in little squabbles, there would be no end to squabbling. More often we win by saying nothing at all because silence preserves our peace of soul.
Therese wrote in her diary that a person should live in monastery as if no one else were in it. That is surely a radical way to mind one's own business! She cautions against curiosity which increases our distractions and destroys the tranquility of our souls.This is a form of practicing the presence of God and doing something for the sake of God increases our consciousness of Him for the more we say 'yes' to God, the more it hurts to say 'no'.
To love freely means to focus on God and what God asks us to do while being unconcerned with the results of our actions. The Little Flower learned to let go of her need for results before she began. She let go of the idea that any of her efforts at holiness would ever succeed. Instead she embraced the idea that God asks us to try, that our goal is the trying. In God's eyes we are successful when we try and not by what we accomplish. By letting go of the idea that her efforts would bear fruit, she let go of what was not in her control. She found peace in differentiating between the wrong and right kinds of care. The wrong kind of care was to worry about the outcome. The right kind of care is to be attentive to the doing.
This little book has left me with several challenges: releasing my expectations in any situation; to give up expectations of reward or recognition; to give without any strings. The biggest challenge is that it is my choice to love others, to choose to look for the good in them, to choose to see Jesus in everyone.
What is the love that keeps us sane? God's love, of course, and ours for God and together we develop a relationship to nurture that love and to allow it to grow. Therese's perspective was to see all things in the light of eternity which allowed her to be deeply involved in life without becoming absorbed by it. Foley identifies four main ways Therese experienced God's love and shared it with others: secrets; "veil of ordinariness"; silence and loving freely with no strings attached.
About secrets: When we expose an intimate part of ourselves a quality of self-preservation is lost. We can never look upon that part of ourselves in the same way again because our view will have been inevitably altered by the opinions and judgements of others. Certain secrets are inseparable from our deepest identity and from our relationship with God. These secrets keep us connected to the eternal, preventing us from becoming dissipated in the world. We cannot be sane without being connected to our deepest self and to God. when we share our inner life indiscriminately, we lose it. Some memories are meant to function as solitary haunts into which we can retreat and find refuge from the world.
"Veil of ordinariness": Therese did not want to draw attention to herself. She wanted to be thought ordinary, average, commonplace, even as a mediocre nun. She considered that true sanctity, true holiness are expressed in authenticity and in a love of simplicity. By authenticity she mean a congruency between her inner and her outward selves, walking her talk, in other words. For her, the opposite of simplicity was not complexity, but duplicity. There are hidden snares of pride within our spirituality. The greatest danger us wanting to be known as holy and pride feeds on our fear of what others think of us. The hidden life counteracts a need for recognition and protection. At the same time, though, this might make a person more vulnerable to the misunderstandings of others. Therese paid this price as her Sisters did indeed think her a very mediocre nun.
About silence: There is a moment between thought and speech, however fleeting a moment it may be. In that moment the Holy Spirit acts, offering us the strength of restraint so that the hateful words remain unspoken and instead the life-giving sounds of kindness, forgiveness and encouragement can be heard. Therese teaches us two ways to now when to speak and how to bear the consequences: by choosing our battles wisely and by learning to mind our own business. when we chose our battles, we must also choose the humility to cede our rights, to defend ourselves. Therese realized that should she choose to justify herself in little squabbles, there would be no end to squabbling. More often we win by saying nothing at all because silence preserves our peace of soul.
Therese wrote in her diary that a person should live in monastery as if no one else were in it. That is surely a radical way to mind one's own business! She cautions against curiosity which increases our distractions and destroys the tranquility of our souls.This is a form of practicing the presence of God and doing something for the sake of God increases our consciousness of Him for the more we say 'yes' to God, the more it hurts to say 'no'.
To love freely means to focus on God and what God asks us to do while being unconcerned with the results of our actions. The Little Flower learned to let go of her need for results before she began. She let go of the idea that any of her efforts at holiness would ever succeed. Instead she embraced the idea that God asks us to try, that our goal is the trying. In God's eyes we are successful when we try and not by what we accomplish. By letting go of the idea that her efforts would bear fruit, she let go of what was not in her control. She found peace in differentiating between the wrong and right kinds of care. The wrong kind of care was to worry about the outcome. The right kind of care is to be attentive to the doing.
This little book has left me with several challenges: releasing my expectations in any situation; to give up expectations of reward or recognition; to give without any strings. The biggest challenge is that it is my choice to love others, to choose to look for the good in them, to choose to see Jesus in everyone.
posted by Gloriamarie Amalfitano @ 4:54 PM
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